my personal oil slick

13 06 2010

I watch the TV and feel an oily existence seeping from my gaping wound. I turn it off and I turntable some Stones and close my eyes wandering off to my own not so happy place. 

You ever think why are people so screwed up? You see it all the time so seemingly obvious, the cheat, the lie, narcissistically a society seemingly oblivious to their own self absorbed behavior. Yet from my own righteousness based on a foundation of moral flaws (knowing the difference), my correctness about right and wrong is sometimes brought into question a brief  moment of doubt a  moment of angst that maybe it’s not them that are so screwed up but it’s me(ref why so flawed). What if I am the ignorant one? Anymore people seem to excel at an unreasonable rate of success regardless as to their actual pedigree or ability to work hard making the right choices, an actual reward for their misgivings….imagine that. I wonder if they really know when they commit said crime, not when an actually law is broken but that the law of morality is being abused. With no moral police to remind us that you are about to cheat and manipulate that they might in small way understand the true damage, not likely. Perform some act of idiocy and it’s more likely that you will be rewarded. These days, we can manipulate a whole cultural change steeped in “I’m an idiot but I don’t care” so watch me on a reality show or performing every night at the local night club in the board room or as an acting politician. Ah yes doesn’t it seem obvious(?), so why reward it, maybe because it seems so removed from who we are,  yet highly entertaining??. My fear accepting it seems make an adjustment bringing it into the facet of everyday living. So again maybe I’m wrong. I mean I live with my guilt, I do the idiot role quite well sometimes  thank you. I know when I sleep with women that 9 out of 10 times it’s not an expression of love moreover lust and I feel bad of course after the fact not before or during while I am fully engorged. When I instill a false sense of hope knowing that it’ll be a minimal chance of success  I know I have manipulated the situation to motivate, wrong all the same. But you see I know when I am doing it, the scary part is that people seem to so easily justify their action and project into the mire of victimization so quickly these days and we the other faction pay the price caught up in your oil slick of lies. I guess history repeats itself, most advanced societies have fallen to similar deception. It seems so obvious and the fact that it doesn’t seem to be is more troublesome as we are all self-absorbed to a degree.  I guess I will return to my perch amongst the eroding rock from which I observe and hope that the whole of those who do not know get a proverbial bitch slap to wake us all up ……or maybe it’s just me and if this is the case I will go quietly….right!!!

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